I WENT TO THE MOVIES WITH HER AND SOME PEOPLE
bu t anyway shes so alive wow

one is out of my league
the other will be commited but wont make me happy
the last said  about 10? words to me, and sent chills down my spine. thAt was refreshing

WHY DONT I HAVE A FWB
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENTTT
UGH

stressed mane
i gotta focus on school more
blehh

so my brother came home from school
because he was overwhelmed and depressed
woa

OOH GIRL, SHOCK ME LIKE ELECTRIC EEL

i want to go on an adventureee
like someplace that is moonlit and relaxing
but also infinite and everchanging
where there is no goals or stress
just the constant feeling of discovery and liek peacee?





ive considering dmt or acid but drugs are a nono

so i might pursue obes again

school is v fun too btw

soo i kinda wish i understood more people and wasnt afraid of not understanding people because it makes it hard to find friends.
ya

THE GIRLY CALLED ME A SWEETIE TODAY!!!!!1!!!
THANK U

looking back at this a while from now im probably gonna think its cheesy af
but no fak u
THIS IS SRS BISNEZ FUTURE ME >:(

my mom is aight
i dont mind her although she can get a bit emotional and times and its frustrating

my dad is nice but he is clearly bipolar and when hes acting up he can get tough to be around. he is also kinda stingy with money but i could care less
 i love my parents
my sister is nice and as time goes on i see a lot of her in me
except im not as social reallyy
my brother is very much like my dad in his emotional aspects sometimes hes tough to be around but i dont mind him

my stepbrother d is fun to be around we have gotten closer recently

my moms boyfriend is a simple guy and i wish they got along better :/

like i said before im not social really
i prefer to stay in my room most of the time but i feel pressured to be social which stinks
im getting better though because i found some friends i really like

i cant help but have this empty feelin sometime though which is a shame because my life is really great tbh
school starts in like a week which is cool with me cus sitting in my room all day is getting a bit mundane

hopefully i get along with my classmates and stuffff

sooo atm i like clothes and fashion
i spend like all my money on it lol
im not gay or bi btw
but sweatshirts with ribbed cuffs or a ribbed waist like a varsity jacket give me a style boner lolol

alright so heres my struggles rn u feel me
so i like this girly
or maybe love idek
and we like each other
or at least thats what ive been led to believe by her
but
we arent dating anymore because she has commitment issues
and what scares me is i dont know if she really does
or if she just doesnt like me enough to date me
so im like
o
m
g
im scared that i wont be able to replace her if she leaves
and im scared of change
terrified really
weve been talking for months
about 4
nearly every day
and i like her so much becauseee
i think the fact the she is a little shy is adorable
she has these beautiful brown eyes
whenever  we make eye contact i just
im just overwhelmed by her beauty
she has a perfect sense of humor
she has good taste in tv and movies
she plays video games
she gives me something to look forward to
i mean
i might just be hormonal atm idk lol
but i dont really care whether i live or die that muchh
like theres a few people i really care about but i dunno my curiosity about life after death overpowers my love sometimes i just have never had the guts to do myself in lol
but knowing that each day i can talk to her
learn more about her
get closer to her
motivates me
it gives me a reason to get up in the morning
the thought of losing that scares me
the thought of her with someone else scares me
and they say fear is love
so i guess i love her

omg how do blog